After a short break spent trying to come up with ideas for the other three Cluedo weapons, or the 'less funny trinity' as we came to refer to them, we are back. For years people have played Cluedo when there is literally nothing else to do, and we have been looking at just how effective the six standard weapons would be in a real life situation. We have already examined the Rope (not very good), the Candlestick (for the gentleman murderer) and the Revolver (loud).
Now it is time for that murder weapon of murder weapons...
From prehistory to today, the dagger has been used as a means to kill. You don't get that kind of run at the top without being a pretty special piece of kit.
Traditionally a short blade that is sharpened on each side and tapered to a point, the dagger is the ultimate silent and deadly weapon. Add a cloak to the mix and you've got an entire sub-genre of nefarious behaviour to play with.
The unpleasant truth is that yes - a dagger makes a very good murder weapon. It always has and always will. It makes no sound, is easily concealed, has no moving parts and can be operated by all the various kinds of idiot.
But in this day and age, is it a practical weapon for the lady or gentleman murderer of the Cluedo universe? The kind of upstanding citizen that would get invited to the kind of dinner party that Dr Black was throwing on the fateful night he was killed?
Firstly, our would-be-murderer would have to conform to the current law regarding concealed weapons - it simply would not do for them to be caught by the local bobby or vicar with a machete strapped to their back - what would people think? This means the only 'dagger' that could be carried into a dinner party would be a swiss-army style folding knife with a blade no more than three inches in length.
Now we're getting somewhere.
There is a sense of pre-meditation about the murder in Cluedo. It took planning and foresight to arrange for the six dinner party guests to be in different areas of the house at the time of the murder, perhaps some kind of spontaneous suggestion that they each go rooting around in Dr Black's things while he's finishing off the scallops (a trick that has been used ever since by producers of TV's Come Dine With Me in the hope that a murder may spice up ratings).
It is hard for this reporter to imagine a successful murder could be carried out in this manner using a swiss-army knife. What if, in the heat of the moment, the murderer accidentally selected the fish knife? Or worse, the toothpick or bottle opener? This pre-meditated murder could collapse into anarchy, with the would be murderer having to resort to holding down his intended victim and waiting for the sun to come out so he can apply a fatal magnifying glass burn.
Pros: Silent, easy to conceal, can also remove stones from horses' hooves.
Cons: Fiddly, small, many functions could confuse in heat of moment.
Regardless of which Cluedo weapon is best, the safest thing to do would be talk to us about running your next murder mystery event for you.